[tor-commits] r26360: {website} more clarifying work throughout (website/trunk/en)

[Roger Dingledine]

Author: arma
Date: 2013-09-21 09:33:11 +0000 (Sat, 21 Sep 2013)
New Revision: 26360

Modified:
   website/trunk/en/index.wml
Log:
more clarifying work throughout


Modified: website/trunk/en/index.wml
===================================================================
--- website/trunk/en/index.wml	2013-09-21 09:19:41 UTC (rev 26359)
+++ website/trunk/en/index.wml	2013-09-21 09:33:11 UTC (rev 26360)
@@ -23,11 +23,11 @@
       </div>
         <div class="subcol-container clearfix">
           <div class="subcol first">
-            <h2>What is Tor?</h2> <p>Tor is free software and an open network that helps
-            you defend against a form of network surveillance that
+            <h2>What is Tor?</h2> <p>Tor is free software and an open
+            network that helps you defend against traffic analysis,
+            a form of network surveillance that
             threatens personal freedom and privacy, confidential business
-            activities and relationships, and state security known as <a
-            href="<page about/overview>">traffic analysis</a>.<br>
+            activities and relationships, and state security.<br>
             <span class="continue"><a href="<page about/overview>">Learn
             more about Tor »</a></span></p>
           </div>
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@
           connection from learning what sites you visit, and it prevents
           the sites you visit from learning your physical location.
           Tor works with many of your existing applications, including
-          web browsers, instant messaging clients, remote login, and
+          web browsers, instant messaging clients, and
           other applications based on the TCP protocol.<br><span
           class="continue"><a href="<page getinvolved/volunteer>">Get involved
           with Tor »</a></span></p> </div>
@@ -61,7 +61,8 @@
                 <a href="https://tails.boum.org/"><img
                 src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Tails.jpg" alt="Tails Icon"></a>
                 <h3><a href="https://tails.boum.org/">Tails</a></h3>
-                <p>Live CD/USB distribution preconfigured to use Tor safely.</p>
+                <p>Live CD/USB operating system preconfigured to use
+                Tor safely.</p>
                 </div>
               </td>
               <td>
@@ -94,7 +95,8 @@
                 <a href="http://www.atagar.com/arm/"><img
                 src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Arm.jpg" alt="Arm Icon"></a>
                 <h3><a href="http://www.atagar.com/arm/">Arm</a></h3>
-                <p>Terminal application for monitoring and configuring Tor.</p>
+                <p>Terminal (command line) application for monitoring
+                and configuring Tor.</p>
                 </div>
               </td>
             </tr>
@@ -141,7 +143,7 @@
               src="$(IMGROOT)/icon-Cloud.jpg" alt="Cloud Icon"></a>
                <h3><a href="https://cloud.torproject.org">Tor cloud</a></h3>
                <p>A user-friendly way of deploying bridges to help users
-               access an uncensored Internet.</p>
+               access the uncensored Internet.</p>
                </div>
                </td>
             </tr>