[or-cvs] Incorporate changes from Shari. Web pages is two words. Au...

[Nick Mathewson]

Update of /home/or/cvsroot/website
In directory moria.mit.edu:/tmp/cvs-serv12837

Modified Files:
	contribute.html download.html index.html 
Log Message:
Incorporate changes from Shari.  Web pages is two words. Audit first-person prounouns.

Index: contribute.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /home/or/cvsroot/website/contribute.html,v
retrieving revision 1.19
retrieving revision 1.20
diff -u -d -r1.19 -r1.20
--- contribute.html	21 Dec 2004 07:41:20 -0000	1.19
+++ contribute.html	21 Dec 2004 19:37:10 -0000	1.20
@@ -45,11 +45,12 @@
 
 <p>Users:
 <ul>
-<li>Try Tor out, and let us know about bugs you find or features you
+<li>Try Tor out, and let the Tor developers know about bugs you find or
+features you
 don't find.</li>
 <li>Please consider <a
 href="cvs/tor/doc/tor-doc.html#server">running a
-server</a> to help us with development and scalability.</li>
+server</a> to help with development and scalability.</li>
 <li>Does somebody want to help maintain this website, or help with
 documentation, or help with managing our TODO and handling bug reports?</li>
 <li>Please fix up <a
@@ -102,8 +103,8 @@
 </ul>
 </p>
 
-<a href="mailto:tor-volunteer at freehaven.net">Let us know</a> if you want
-to help out!
+<a href="mailto:tor-volunteer at freehaven.net">Email
+tor-volunteer at freehaven.net</a> if you want to help out!
 
 </div><!-- #main -->
 </div>

Index: download.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /home/or/cvsroot/website/download.html,v
retrieving revision 1.42
retrieving revision 1.43
diff -u -d -r1.42 -r1.43
--- download.html	21 Dec 2004 07:41:20 -0000	1.42
+++ download.html	21 Dec 2004 19:37:10 -0000	1.43
@@ -100,7 +100,8 @@
 </p>
 
 <p><b>Other packages</b> are available for Gentoo Linux, NetBSD,
-and OpenBSD. If somebody sends me details for these I'll put them here.
+and OpenBSD. If somebody sends details for these to the Tor developers, we'll
+put them here.
 </p>
 
 <!--
@@ -123,7 +124,7 @@
 win32 installer, better
 circuit building algorithms, bandwidth accounting and hibernation,
 more efficient directory fetching, and support for a separate Tor GUI
-controller program (once somebody writes one for us)</a>.
+controller program (once somebody writes one)</a>.
 </p>
 
 <p class="date">2004-10-14</p>

Index: index.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /home/or/cvsroot/website/index.html,v
retrieving revision 1.40
retrieving revision 1.41
diff -u -d -r1.40 -r1.41
--- index.html	21 Dec 2004 07:02:18 -0000	1.40
+++ index.html	21 Dec 2004 19:37:10 -0000	1.41
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@
 <h2>Tor: An anonymous Internet communication system</h2>
 
 <p>
-Tor is a toolset for a wide range of organizations and people who want
+Tor is a toolset for a wide range of organizations and people that want
 to improve their safety and security on the Internet. Using Tor can help
 you anonymize web browsing and publishing, instant messaging, IRC, SSH,
 and more. Tor also provides a platform on which software developers can
@@ -65,9 +65,13 @@
 </p>
 
 <p>
-Your traffic is safer when you use Tor because communications
-are bounced around a distributed network of servers called <a
-href="howitworks.html">onion routers</a>&mdash;this makes it hard for
+Your traffic is safer when you use Tor, because communications
+are bounced around a distributed network of servers, called <a
+href="overview.html">onion routers</a>.  Instead of taking a direct
+route from source to destination, data packets on the Tor network take a
+random pathway through several servers that cover your tracks so no observer
+at any single point can tell where the data came from or where it's going.
+This makes it hard for
 recipients, observers, and even the onion routers themselves to figure
 out who and where you are. Tor's technology aims to provide Internet
 users with protection against "traffic analysis," a form of
@@ -77,15 +81,15 @@
 
 <p>
 Traffic analysis is used every day by companies, governments, and
-individuals who want to keep track of where people and organizations go
+individuals that want to keep track of where people and organizations go
 and what they do on the Internet.  Instead of looking at the content of
 your communications, traffic analysis tracks where your data goes and
 when, as well as how big it is. For example,
 online advertising company Doubleclick uses traffic analysis to record
-what webpages you've visited, and can build a profile of your interests
+what web pages you've visited, and can build a profile of your interests
 from that. A pharmaceutical company could use traffic analysis to monitor
 when the research wing of a competitor visits its website, and track
-what pages or products the competitor is interested in. IBM hosts a
+what pages or products that interest the competitor. IBM hosts a
 searchable patent index, and it could keep a list of every query your
 company makes. A stalker could use traffic analysis to learn whether
 you're in a certain Internet cafe.