This may come across as hostile, it is not intended as such.

The hosting providers are as clueless as we are.  If, despite your research of the law in Germany, you are unsure, why should the hosting providers take a risk.?

You and I are risking our time and a server contract, they are risking their businesses,

PS: I run a Data Centre in Singapore, from where I run exit-relays.  I have received two police visits in 2013.  I am OK with that, I am willing to take the trouble to explain.  But if it was a customer of mine who did it, without telling me, I would have been angry.